Friday, March 8, 2013

Who's Your # 1 Priority...Your Spouse or Your Kids?

 "If you're married and have children, who's your first priority...your spouse or the kids?

Entertainment reporter and reality TV personality Giuliana Rancic sparked something of a controversy last week when she said she puts her marriage first over motherhood. Her comments made headlines across the nation and spurred a debate over how couples should prioritize relationships. It’s a good conversation to have.

Mrs. Rancic says she puts her husband, Bill, first because “the best thing we can do for him (son Edward) is have a strong marriage.”

She has her supporters – one commenter to an online story said, “Putting your marriage first gives the child a stable, loving home to grow up in,” while others pointed out that some marriages fall apart when spouses stop making each other a priority.

Critics on the other side of this issue say couples should make the children the center of the home – after all a marriage may not last, they say, but you’re a parent forever.

That's what you call cynicism.

The logic goes like this: Husbands can take care of can’t.

I think they're missing the point. Nobody is suggesting letting elementary-aged children fend for themselves over a weekend so that you and your spouse can escape to a romantic rendezvous in the mountains.

 It comes down to this: Are the two of you a team acting as one voice, looking out for the other, praying for each other, lifting the other up in the eyes of your children?

Or does your entire focus revolve around the tediousness of tasks involving the kids at the complete expense of your spouse?

Of course if you're a parent of young children much of your day is consumed with feeding and changing diapers - and maybe also keeping them from destroying the house. There are practical demands to meet, but even still, what is your attitude toward the "pecking order" in your home?

I know a guy who says he's # 5 on his wife's list - after the kids, the grandchildren, her girlfriends and the family dog.

Only you can answer this question of priority for yourself. But if you want to have the best chance at a happy and healthy home life – for you and your kids - you're wise to make sure that you and your spouse make the other a priority."

excerpt from Jim Daly's "Daly Focus" posted March 6, 2013